How to Find Self Love and Understanding

When we write, we must be quiet. The mind becomes like a chamber of creation, a laboratory. A place where not only our voice is heard, but imagery, colours, abstract thoughts. It’s a place where we must be honest with ourselves.

Sean P. Durham
4 min readSep 15, 2021


“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” -Robert Morely

We have to figure things out when we write. We do it in our minds. We become experts at listening to ourselves think, quietly.

It takes time, and patience.

The good thing is that it’s seldom possible to start ‘chattering’ when you write. The results would be like the sound of a bus station on a Saturday afternoon after shopping. It’s better to sit on a bench and wait. To look and observe, that’s how ideas develop. Just let them come to you, and don’t try to grab them with force.

Ideas can be like run-away horses — you chase them, and they’ll keep running away. Better to go to the side of your field, enjoy the sunshine and wait for the horses to become curious about why you are there. They’ll trot in your direction soon enough.

Recently, I wrote a couple of articles about love, friendship, and the idea of the need to have good friends.

One of the points in my thoughts about friendship and love is that you can’t simply switch love on when the right person comes along, you have to work at it all the time; it’s a part of everyday life to learn how to love. Without love, you live in the world of cool emotions.

We need to practise the principles of love on ourselves.

Then whenever that time comes, and a special person comes along, we already know a thing or two about how to love a person — ourselves.

What’s love of self and writing got to do with each other?


Writing has a lot to do with understanding the self. How you think, and how you see.

When we write we must be like artists who investigate not only the object, but our relationship with the object. That way we become deeply familiar with the…



Sean P. Durham

Berlin Notes — Writing about the Creative Art of Street Photography. Fine Art Photography, writing, art, cats.