Pin board with messages and goals of success on it
Pin board with messages and goals of success on it
Photo by Valentina Conde on Unsplash

How to Beat Fear and Build the Life You want

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
- Alan Watts

The desire to build a business, to be a creative person,a professional writer, or to simply develop a lifestyle that is special for us.

This is a universal desire in most healthy people.

We believe in our abilities, we develop a plan, then we want to set to work on our mental concept of an idea.

And problems show up.

Actions create obstacles that our mental concept didn’t show us. We may feel thwarted already, and go back to the drawing board and think again.

Or we may press on and believe wholeheartedly that we’ll figure it out as we go along.

Or, we just quit on the spot.

Either way, we aren’t facing real problems. We are allowing the brain to take control and use the delete, generalize, and distort buttons to jiggle things for us and make us feel that it’ll all work out in the end.

That feeling can lead to a belief that we don’t really control much at all in life, that luck will see us through, or not. But this isn’t true, it is distortion of reality that convinces us that our minds have no influence in the World.

Just look around and remind yourself of all the achievements of humankind, and all the individuals who have created massive changes in their lives that absolutely baffle the pundits of negativity.

But we are on the wrong path if we’re working with a false concept of things, and we won’t achieve the results we want. That’s nothing to do with luck, it’s more like bad planning.

In the beginning, we created a thought which gave us the feelings that change is possible. Those feelings were used to create desire, want, and justification of the change in the form of change as need.

We developed a concept from our thoughts. desire and want was transformed into a concept of need. A stronger idea to work with.

Desire is powerful. It will drive a mind to the heavens and back, make a person feel like a space-cadet on a mission. Desire is a good thing, but often mistaken as the main factor in realizing the object in the real world. Need is stronger.

When we act, things can go haywire or begin to feel unreal. Both of which are demotivating and enough to challenge our beliefs about reality. Suddenly the thoughts in our minds tend to fade among the loudness and chaos of the physical world.

The thoughts in our mind are the symbols we use to create correlations with the world we live in, so we build ideas which are complex sets of symbols based on our beliefs about what is possible.

When we decide to build a business, or take up the challenge of building the writer’s life, we are also challenging the circumstances of our present reality.

The model we use to build a vision is also based on the inner map of life that we have developed over the years. The map we use to navigate the world, to work, to improve, and to meet challenges with a strong sense of will.

This map is always a basis for vision and for change. We must adjust course often, and we have to redraw the map as we progress in our achievements of life.

It must present us with a powerful perspective on life so that we can navigate effectively.

To change anything, there must be a clear image of what that change looks like. We want to control the changes in our lives, and not be subject to the ebb and flow of the driftwood in our minds.

Most of us, as adults, have lived life and learned lessons which help us to understand how things work and how we fit into those circumstances of life.

We get by.

One thing that we should take note of is that things don’t stabilize and become set in concrete. They are subject to the environment. Everything affects everything. We are subject to our environment, but we also create our environment. It is like the dance of life.

The map of the world that we have inside ourselves correlates roughly with what we see and feel at any time in our practice of living and working.

For some people, it doesn’t. They may allow themselves a distorted view of the world, which becomes obvious when that person is always creating a mess for themselves.

The mind has the ability to distort, to generalize, and to delete anything from any one of the senses. This is important basic knowledge to work with when you are attempting to build a solid idea of how your change from now into your new future can really happen.

To feel sure about an action we have to know that we’ve covered every angle in our thoughts — and that we are not being duped into believing things that don’t belong in the real world, or on our personal map of the world.

Remembering how the mind can distort and delete, is as important as remembering that the map we use to navigate life, isn’t a replica of the physical world.

It’s a representation of things that we build with symbols and thought patterns which have personal meanings only to ourselves.

We use these symbols to understand what we see physically. We use these symbols to believe in and to know about the things that we can’t yet see and feel. But we are sure they are possible.

When we design a good plan for change, a business venture that is only in the mind at the moment, we must test it from every mental angle.

We use our belief system which is based on proof through observations, to do this.

When we find ourselves wanting for a positive change we take action. Those actions can go well, and then lead to frustrations.

A lot of time can be wasted trying. Trying is always a mistaken way to put effort into something, it isn’t effective because it is full of half-hearted attempts, blindly punching at an imaginary wall — in the hope it will crumble and you will see, finally, what you want to get at.

Frustrations lead to worries, and doubts. Trying to punch your way out is futile.

Those “trying” actions are an attempt at getting to the answer that leads us further along the path of achievement. What we really want is to know something about ourselves, so we need to ask powerful questions that will help us re-frame our point of view.

Successful achievement is work, and sometimes it’s hard work. It can be fun hard work, too.

Asking yourself really effective questions helps you to light up your thought patterns, to open up veins of thought that until now were dormant.

Decisive actions that are not trying-actions, but pure actions based on self knowledge gleaned from honest introspection and questioning, lead to new circumstances.

Many people discover writing in a journal is a powerful way to find those questions, and answer them.

Intimate thoughts written down in private lead to honest self discovery. To know who you are, is to know what you are capable of.

Knowing your limits is a powerful tool-bag, which in turn, is full of shiny new tools of the mind which help you reach the things you truly dream of achieving.

Many people ask questions and get answers. Often, the answer is not what they wanted, or it sounds wrong. There’s a damned good reason for this, they are not interested in the question, they just want an answer to a vague feeling they have.

The questions you must ask yourself will only be of use if they are honest questions. You have to ask yourself questions that are absolutely pertinent to your circumstances.

This is hard, at first. But you soon begin to realise that when a question is discovered, it will lead to the right answer. The answer is always powerful and motivating in a very real way.

The right answer is correlated to your map of the world, and is of no use to other people. That’s why what you feel, and what you do, is your thing, and nobody else’s.

Your actions towards realizing mental ideas into the physical world are based on the clarity of thought that you found by asking great questions. The answers take time to find, but it’s always worth it.

The answer comes from the complex ideas that are hidden in your map of the world. The symbols and concepts that you have developed to understand how to live life.

You can use a journal to investigate your own thought patterns to discover how you really think, how ordered or chaotic your thinking is; a reflection of your real life.

Instead of asking the vague question, “How can I become wealthy?”, you should cover every angle of the idea with a new question. “Why would I want to be wealthy?”, “What happens when people work hard and finally become wealthy?”, leads to an obvious question of honesty, “Do I want to work hard for wealth?”.

Or as a creative person, “Why do I want to write a book?”, “Do I have something to say to the World?”, “Am I prepared to do the enormous amount work in writing a book, and not know when the end will come,” that last question can lead to many interesting and powerful questions that help you develop a picture of yourself as writer.

People who ask questions about wealth often think that the answers are obvious — “who wouldn’t want to become wealthy?”; it seems that a shoulder shrug with this answer/question is all that is needed, and only a fool doesn’t know the answer. It’s so vague, full of fear and non-committal bravado, that it’s the answer of a person who avoids the truth about themselves.

The way that you decide to begin asking powerful questions is up to you. Take it seriously enough to know that recording your answers, all of them, is important.

Each question lights up a new thought process, each new thought leads to a new question. When you are serious about finding a real answer to why?, what?, how?, and when?, your mind will go into action and draw on the best resources of your mind.

When we live in a confused way, we are often being deceived by the lazy part of the brain. The easy way out answers that tell us that it’s all trick, life’s unfair, or it’s all too late to start something new. But, a trick is a trick, and sometimes the Trickster of the mind is the best in the business.

Great questions, seriously presented, challenge the mind. The mind is full of doorways that lead to light and darkness, to happiness and sadness. Don’t allow the trickster in your mind to guide you away from your dreams.

Follow the real guide, or the inner voice that tells you that life is big, it is open and broad and the way to a happy existence is along many different paths, you just need to be in earnest and have self-knowledge to achieve your dreams and to see to your needs.

Written by

Berlin Notes — Writing about the Creative Art of Living http://seandurham.eu

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